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[求批改] 托福写作免费批改——求大神指点

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发表于 2017-8-12 15:44:23 | 显示全部楼层
托福写作免费批改~求大神指出这篇文章的错误,感激不尽~
Taking a panoramic picture of human evolution, family education has been playing a very important role, especially in modern days. When it comes to the question of whether or not raising kids is easier than before. I, personally, think that parenting has becoming more and more difficult based on the following reasons.
  First off, with the advent of technological gadgets kids are now more susceptible to negative information on-line, making it tough for parents to monitor and guide their kids’ behavior and mindset. As we all know, with the appearance of smart phones, tablets and computer laptops, it is easier for people of all age groups, including adolescents and teenagers, to get access to all kinds of information. To be more specific, celebrities especially entertainers, like movies stars, sports giants and pop singers are such bad exemplars for kids since they are constantly involved in sex scandals, abusive use of drugs, random hookups, getting rehabilitation. Kids, who are in their formative years, are not immune to these negative influence. Therefore, it is becoming absolutely tough for parents to guide them and any negligence might lead to be catastrophic for the kid’s future development.
  Additionally, parents are so overwhelmed with their career and they tend to be negligent about their kids. Kids, on the other hand, without guidance from their parents tend to have both psychological and physical problems. A recent study done by National Society of Developmental Psychology indicates that there is a positive correlation between the parents’ working time and the likelihood for kids to experience psychological and physical problems in their adolescence. Indeed, fathers and mothers are more stressful and inclined to work more hours than those who did a few decades ago, leaving them little time to hang out and caress their kids. To make matters worse, kids who might experience unparalleled peer pressure, bullying and other kinds of school cliché are not able to get appropriate and timely instruction and encouragement from their parents, increasing the risk of a series of developmental problems. For instance, they might get addicted to computer games, involve in early sex, and even have marijuana and drinking problems.
  In conclusion, due to the susceptibility of kids when exposed to negative information on-line or else and the parents’ lack of time spent with their kids, it is getting more difficult to raise kids now and kids are inclined to have both psychological and physical problems in their formative years.
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发表于 2017-8-22 18:12:33 | 显示全部楼层
哇塞,谢谢楼主分享资料,下载很方便,分享最美丽
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发表于 2017-8-30 16:02:52 | 显示全部楼层
这么内涵的帖子我一定要顶起来啊
因为为了一句话这贴子一定会火的
句句十五个字有哪个高手能超越呢
我要下载资料终于凑够十五个字啦
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发表于 2017-9-7 17:22:09 | 显示全部楼层
踩 踩踩 踩踩踩 就算别人见了骂我傻我还是要踩!要是**敢过来阻止我就更加要踩!要是你看我不爽我没办法还要继续踩!要是你觉得敢兴趣你也可以过来一起踩!踩到地下水喷发造成洪灾损失惨重我也踩!踩到南昌地震山崩地裂地下水泛滥我还要踩!踩完楼主还要下载资料哦。
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发表于 2017-9-15 15:50:14 | 显示全部楼层
看了这张楼主的帖子,被楼主独特的视角折服的同时,也为楼主发掘的一片艰辛而鼓掌,并摇旗呐喊,同志们,“一个楼主发了帖,千万个回帖下载资料的我们要站起来” 呀!
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