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[求批改] 托福写作免费批改——希望老师批改

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发表于 2017-8-12 15:46:29 | 显示全部楼层
托福写作免费批改~希望能有老师看到这篇文章,并帮我批改一下,感激不尽~
In their free time, young people (age14-18) spend time taking part in different activities such as music lessons or competitive sports. Some young people devote their time in other kinds of activities. But other young people will spend most of their time focusing on one activity that is important to them. Which approach do you think is better?
  The old saying “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” still remains relevant as it did centuries ago. The question of what kind of extra curriculum activities should kids do after school has never failed to attract spotlight. Should they focus on one single activity or is it better for them to devote their time to various activities. Personally, I think it is in the kids’ best interest to get involved in multiple kinds of activities based on the following reasons.
  First off, doing various activities makes the kids bored and more extra curriculum activities mean that they enjoy a better chance to try different things and find their real interest. For instance, playing sports all the time will probably drive the kids crazy since they can be very energy consuming and it might lead to injuries in their bones and joints. One’s meat might be others’ poison, indeed nobody really knows what their preference lies in unless they are given the opportunities to do different activities. Actually switching from one activity to another gives the kids the opportunity to explore their real interest and tap their unknown potential. A kid who lacks of flexibility and coordination when doing sport might be talented in playing chess while one who cannot concentrate in the classroom might be very gifted in playing sports. Trying out different activities can help kids to find something they are really interested in and eventually they can develop and build up confidence.
  Additionally,students can develop lots of useful skills and release their pressure in life and study if they do different activities. For example, playing group sports can help them to get comfortable teaming up with others and develop cooperation awareness. This kind of experience and awareness can help them get prepared for future jobs since willingness to cooperate and coordinate is regarded as a very valuable quality and working together with others are necessary for the future working environment. Plus, learning music and how to play piano can help someone to develop a taste in music. Music can serve as a source of comfort and love, at the same time it is conducive to release negative emotions like sorrow, depression and even anger.
  In conclusion, it is more advisable for kids to do various activities since it helps kids to explore their interest and tap their potential, more importantly it can help kids to develop useful skills and get them prepared for future jobs.
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发表于 2017-8-22 18:00:24 | 显示全部楼层
好棒,提供資料非常詳盡、已經下載、希望持續更新
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发表于 2017-8-30 16:14:41 | 显示全部楼层
逐字逐句地看完这个帖子以后,我的心久久不能平静,震撼啊!为什么会有如此好的帖子!我纵横网络多年,自以为再也不会有任何帖子能打动我,没想到今天看到了如此精妙绝伦的这样一篇帖子!这么丰富的资料,没时间了赶紧下载去!
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发表于 2017-9-7 17:18:26 | 显示全部楼层
楼主真是聪明伶俐、活泼可爱、待友热情、对敌冷酷、阴险狡诈、无所不为、心狠手辣、无恶不作,对友赴汤蹈火、再所不辞、两肋插刀、枪林弹雨、勇往直前、慷慨大方、头脑精明、仙福永享、寿与天齐、百折不饶、百打不死、侠中豪杰、人中龙凤、有情有义、有胆有色的好男儿,为了追随楼主的步伐我已下载完楼主发的资料。
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发表于 2017-9-15 16:03:28 | 显示全部楼层
楼主的帖子实在是写得太好了。文笔流畅,修辞得体,深得魏晋诸朝遗风,更将唐风宋骨发扬得入木三分,能在有生之年看见楼主的这个帖子下载里面的资料,实在是我三生之幸啊。
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